My daughter had a slight cold about a week ago. Wasn't anything big or out of the ordinary. Then it became really hot here and our apartment was just super waaaaarm. Especially her bedroom.
We have dinner, she seems fine, off to bed. I was woken up by her feet ramming into my back a few times but what else is new. Then at around 3am she was flopping around and I go to touch her and my heart stopped. SHE WAS SO HOT. As if she was actually burning. I have never felt anything like it.
I was instantly WIDE AWAKE with my heart pounding and took her into the other bedroom where the fan is in. This wakes up my husband and Son, who obviously thought it was morning and started yelling and jumping around (insert huge sigh). I got the thermometer and checked her temperature and she had a temp of 42.6. WTF. I got two other thermometers and they both said 41 something.
You guys. I was so full of anxiety, I started sweating profusely and was not able to think straight. I got ibuprofen, somehow rattled her awake enough to make her drink it, got wet cloths and wrapped her calves, opened all the windows, and put the fan straight on her.
Now, lots of kids get real hot. Yet, she has never had a temperature above 39 and I have NEVER felt someone THAT hot. So, naturally all my fears crept up into my brain... meanwhile my son was still yelling 'ham ham' meaning he wanted breakfast lol
He wouldn't be calmed by my husband, so I took him out of the room and gave him a banana and rocked him back to sleep, the whole time super worried about my daughter. I finally managed to get him back to sleep and was able to lay next to him and finally fall asleep again myself.
This was the first time I was able to let go of control.
The way the anxiety felt in my body- was as if there were hands that squeezed my throat all the way down to my pelvis. Super tight. I took really deep breathes while rocking my son and the anxiety went away.
Before this incident, I wouldn't have been able to leave my daughter in the hands of my husband (I rationally know he is fully capable of managing any situation) but it is my anxiety that won't allow any help, if I let go of the anxiety, what will happen?
Nothing. It was fine, it was better than fine, my husband took care of her and it was fine. fine? fine. fine. fine. fine. yep. fine!!!
My aha moment was, that in moments of anxiety I need to let it go, accept the help and surrender.
Pretty easy right, what took me so long to get this!?
Happy Saturday everyone!
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