Triggers

Having children really made me look at my own behaviour and how I deal with certain situations. I have been working hard at looking at my triggers and examining them in a non judgemental way but rather with curiosity. Noticing them was a big first step for me. 

Why does it bother me SO so much when my kids yell-talk all the time? Why, in certain situations, can't I just accept that my child has a different view or opinion than me? When I am under time pressure, why do I get frantic and have no mental capacity for things like 'I DONT WANT THESE SOCKS, I want THOSE socks' even though to my eyes, they are the exact same (!!!).

Looking back at these situations, I realise that it is always, my own emotional struggles that make me snap, grunt, roll my eyes at my children. It is something within me that gets triggered by their behaviour. Why? What happened to me that I am bothered by this? Why do I want them to act or be a certain way, is it because I want that or is it because I am just blindly following what was pushed onto me by others as a kid? 

I am learning to let go and be a little gentler with myself and my own tantrums, since I realise that is what I want to show my children too, its okay to feel overwhelmed, its ok to be angry or annoyed. It is even better to explain and talk about my feelings with them.

I am getting better with taking them the way they are, their own thoughts and feelings and often different views. I listen less to my fear. And, that is wonderful. But.. just sometimes, wouldn't it be nice for them to just SLEEP when I want to sleep, like.. PAST 5am?!? Who's with me?
Happy Saturday my friends.